KILL THE DREAMS GONE BAD

Never was and never will be.

VERLOREN UND TOT

What am I?

Who am I? 

What do I want?

What can I give?

I can never stop questioning myself.

Doubting all possibilities.

I can never do something right.

People always say focus on the positives and the negatives 

will eventually recede.

But, how can I even find these positives when they're 

like needles in haystacks?!

Wait, do I even have them?

Too bad.

Positive drowned in negatives.

Impossible to even imagine.

Forget it.

I'm just one useless piece of garbage wasting Earth's resources.

A burden to my parents.

An invisible being. 

I can feel my soul floating on air.

Aimless.

Numb.

Life to me is just a mere struggle.

To be born means to enter into a world of endless sufferings.

I'm born for no good.

Purposeless.

It really does feel like Apocalyspe now.

When can this ever end?

When will you ever come, Apocalyspe?

I'm waiting.

I'm sinking.

I'm trying. 

I'm dying. 

ICH BIN HUMANOID

Humanoid City live in Milano!

I finally found the right moment to watch it.

Omg!

It was breathtaking, superbly awesome, unbelievably magnificent, 

jaw-droppin', amazing und all of the synonyms you can think of!

I cried when Noise was played.

I was so freakin' thrilled. [Just like in World Stage] *adrenaline rush*

I cried when they showed a snippet of TH's footage, 

during the old times und also recent. ♥♥

Humanoid in German und acoustic version was fascinating. ♥

Bill's talk was so melodious right before Phantomrider.

Bill hit the high note perfectly in Love & Death. ♥ *feeling high*

I cried when he sang In Your Shadow. ♥

Screamin' got me jumpin' around.

I cried when Bill und Tom appeared with Zoom Into Me. ♥

When I was watching this, I couldn't feel myself exist in this 

pathetic world.

I could feel as if I were taken on an unforgettable odyssey in 

my wildest fantasy.

There were so much emotions in me. The ambivalent feeling. 

Watching Bill, Tom, George und Gustav rock the stage was 

like sweet dream.

It also took me way back to World Stage where all the magic happened.

I would really really love to watch the FULL HUMANOID CITY CONCERT!

It would be the best damn thing ever!

Und of course, I have to watch it with my dearest Mii.

Perfect combination of Aliens und Engel, interacting soul-to-soul would be 

a feeling that is out of this world.

But, it would only come true in a dream.

I want to wake up in my dream.

Liebe mein Engel.

You guys added meaning to my life.

You tighten the bond between mein dear und ich.

You made me feel that ich bin nicht allein.

With your existence, there's something that I look forward to each day.

♥

Song of the day : Frei Im Freien Fall

Aliens & Angels ♥

ALLEIN

I feel like a bad person.

I feel like a total bitch.

Song of the day : Der Letzte Tag

Aliens & Angels ♥

ICH WILL REITEN SOLO

I really wish to go solo.

Jason Derulo's Ridin' Solo is what I want to be.

The lyrics totally suit what I am feeling, what describes me inside.

Yes, even though it's not over yet, but I'm already feeling it.

I don't know what's going on in my freaking mind.

I don't know what happened.

But I've decided.

Nothing can change my mind.

What's meant to be is what's meant to be.

I just want to be alone!

[I'm so sorry that it didn't work out]

[I'm so sorry but it's over now]

Song of the day : Gegen Meinen Willen

& Ridin' Solo [Jason D.]

Aliens & Angels ♥

ALLES GUT ZUM GEBURSTAG!

Angels were born!

Three of our dear Angels were born in the month of September ♥

[ Hey! I was born in this month as well! =D ]

1st September 1989

Our sweetest twins, Bill und Tom. ♥♥

Omg! 

This photo drove my hormones all over the place! ♥__♥

You guys are so, so HOT! ♥♥

8th September 1988

Greatest Drummer of all time, GuGu Bear!

Without you, the band would not have been so great.
You rock big guy! ♥


***
Oh, Bill.
I really hope you can take a nice, long rest.
The amount of work is just too much.
We feel you.

Song of the day : In Your Shadow [I Can Shine]

Aliens & Angels ♥

THE LAST LOOK BACK IS BLACK

Okay.

So, let's talk about Tokio Hotel ♥

31st July was obviously, MTV WORLD STAGE!

And our main purpose for attending was obviously, TOKIO HOTEL! ♥♥♥ 

 .

To watch our Angels Bill, Tom, Georg and Gustav rock the stage and 

bring the place down with their awesome and incomparable music. ♥

.

Again, loads and loads of thanks to my beloved Mii for
getting those passes. ♥

Love you lots! ♥♥

.

Before the big event, both of us filled our stomachs with FOOOOD first.

Sort of knew there would be NO dinner.

Oh, who cares about food when you have your Angels rockin' on stage?!

Then, we went shopping for some stuff. No luck.
.

We decided to head to the entrance an hour earlier to queue but unfortunately, 

there were already a gazillion homos queueing.

We even had to queue under our good friend. 

"You ALWAYS make us HAPPY"

.

Skip the crap and straight to our favourite part.

♥♥♥♥ TOKIO HOTEL ♥♥♥♥

I can definitely say that they had the best performance that night.

They got the crowd thrilled and adrenalized!

We were shouting, yelling, shrieking, screaming, crying and almost got 

our lungs flying out.

[ I kind of lost my voice after that but it was all worthwhile. ♥ ]
.

Mein Engel ♥♥♥♥

[Biu, Tomi, GeGE & GuGu (drumin' up there)]

BILL! ♥♥♥

Bill is SO HOT! ♥♥♥

 One of my fav part, Bill raised with his bike! And his shades! 

Omg! Made him look super striking and drop-dead GORGEOUS! ♥♥♥

*melting*

TOM! ♥♥♥

Tom's hotness, burnin' up the stage! ♥_♥

Mi Tomi! ♥♥♥

Aww~ Look at the lovely twins. ♥♥♥♥

Awwww~

This, was the best part. 

Bill sang "Zoom Into Me" while Tom played the piano.

It was a special moment.

The way he sang it, the way those lyrics float through our souls,

really drove a thousand emotions out of us. =*l

I was totally drowned in his voice and Tom's melodious piano-playing 
captured my soul.

That moment will be kept in my memory forever. ♥

What made it even special was being able to share that beautiful moment 
with one of the most important person in my life, that is Michelle.  
♥♥♥♥

Ich liebe dich! ♥

Love you Bill! Love you Tom! Love you Georg! Love you GuGu! ♥ 
 

The only unfortunate thing happened was the delay between each performance.

Thus, it ended quite late.

I'm so happy coz I get to see mein Engel & SPEND THE WHOLE 
FREAKING DAY WITH MY MII!!! ♥♥

Oh! We also bought our Tokio tees on the way out! ♥♥

Gosh, making this post really got me so emotional & I really wish time could turn back.

Better still, time could freeze at that moment.

I am still in World Stage up until today.

I don't think I will ever come back.

It made me feel as if I am one step closer to getting into Humanoid City. ♥ 

Song of the day : Alien [German]

Aliens & Angels ♥

LEAVE ME ALONE

I have so many things running through my mind.

Too many.

Just like a monsoon sweeping across my myelin sheaths.

I don't even know how categorize these thoughts.

Everything is in a mess.

I realized I have done so many things for the past few months 

that made me look like a fool.

I wish I could just disappear from this world.

I would really love to go to Humanoid City.

It looks exactly like how I imagined my ideal world would be.

It's like my fantasy.

I've dreamed of it.

And wish I would never wake up.

I'm already slipping away from life little by little, day by day.

One day, I'll be gone.

Song of the day : Rette Mich
Aliens & Angels ♥

RETTE MICH

I wish to live in Humanoid City.

Mit meinem Aliens und Engels.

One day.

That day will come.

Song of the day : Zoom

Aliens & Angels ♥