PSYCHOTIC

OMG!
I'm so addicted to GD's Butterfly ♥
The MV is cute! =D

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Things are meaningless until you give meaning to it.
This is so true.
It's not the thing or the situation that happened matters.
It's how you perceive it.
No matter how bad a situation is, we can look at the brighter side of it.
Laugh it off and take it as a life lesson.
But sometimes, it's only easy to say.
Having the courage to do and adopt this optimistic behaviour is difficult.
Perhaps I take everything or shall I say every word too personally.
Yea, even though sometimes they don't mean it.
NO. Mean it or not, I still take it seriously & P-E-R-S-O-N-A-L-L-Y.

Whenever Ms Caren mentions the word "only child", people tend to look and point their finger at me.
Excuse me, whether it is a bad intention or whatever I feel discriminated okay!
And stop calling me a baby!!!!!! -,-
Yea yea. According to Adler's Theory of Birth Order, the only child is always the center of attention, spoiled & can be self-centered.
Urgh! Helloo!! I didn't choose to go this way alright!
Too much attention? Checked. [I obviously didn't beg my parents for this]
Spoiled? Checked. [But I'm not as demanding as other people okay]
Self-centered??! Hell NO! [But in some situations, I have to be selfish in order to save myself from being more miserable]

But I agree with some of the points mentioned in his theory. =(
Being the only child, they miss out on the social skills learned by sibling interaction, so they may find it difficult to share or compromise & less effective in relationships. This proposed relationship results in poorer mental health. =(
HOWEVER, a great positive trait is that they can be very mature intellectually.
[Don't play play]

Surveys of literature predating 1945 emphasized the abnormality of only children's familial situation and risk of lifelong unhappiness and psychopathology. =(
However it was acknowledged that not much research followed individuals into adult life to determine if possible effects of being raised as a sole child has any lasting consequences. [HAH! >.>]
Some research indicates that only children who attempt to fulfill all their parents' expectations are retarded in developing adulthood autonomy and are less independent than any other birth order. This may be especially true of female only children who are traditionally expected to be more involved with their parents across the lifespan. -,-

Okay okay. Stop hitting myself with the bad stuff.
Time to sleep.

Sometimes I feel unwanted. =(

CONFESSIONS OF A LOST SOUL

I feel so tired.
I feel restless.
I feel useless.
I feel old.
I feel my spirit fading day by day.
I feel spiritless.
I feel like a dead body.
I feel like life is merely a struggle.
I don't have the energy to do anything.
I am not motivated.
I get frustrated over something easily.
I annoy everyone.
I bore everyone.

Everyone's irritated.
Exasperated.
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High expectations.
Extra effort.
Work hard or lose it all.
Regret is not entertained.
Fear.
It's pressure.
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People.
Faces.
Genuine.
Fake.
Pompousness.
Selfishness.
Unthoughtful.
Attention.
Differences.
Gossips.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Some act superior.
Some control.
Some attack.
Some retaliate.
Some hide.
Some judge.
Some act.
I'm behind a mask and shall never reveal.
I insult to defend.
It's not my intention.
Sorry to those offended.
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Words kill.
Offended.
They didn't know.
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As for now, I'll act stupid and shut my mouth until I have to open it.
Oh wait.
I always keep my mouth shut.
Don't I?
Hmmmmmm.
Annoying?
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Define LIFE.

INDULGE IN GOODNESS

Here comes the complains again.
If you can't stand it, leave.

After 2 days of suffering in the dorm, I finally get to go out!
First of all, the quality of the food in the hostel's canteen is definitely deteriorating!
As in REALLY sucky.
Doing their job with zero quality.
The dust in my room is causing my allergies to attack again.
[Even after cleaning, the dust is still there]
So now, I'm sneezing the shit out of me and the dustbin is full of my *!
My nose is on a marathon yo!

And one thing I hate the most is the filthy bathroom!
EEEWWWWW!!!!
Dirt and hair everywhere!
Which grosses me the most!

Seriously, I hate seeing strands of tangled hair especially on wet floor.
Totally disgusting!
Even when I'm wearing my flip flops, I just couldn't step on it.
GROSS.

Hair.
Which means I also hate wig.
After watching a movie called 'The Wig', wigs freak me out even more.
[Michelle Yap, where's my DVD huh?]
Hair extensions are worse!
Wigs and extensions makes me puke!
Yea. Psychotic. SO!

***

So, today's the first day of Co-cu.
It was okay.
It was kind of fun.
But hell lot of confusion!
[If you know what I mean]
LOL
But someone kind of D. =[
By the way, Wednesdays are my off days.
No boring classes! *Cheers*

Okay, I know.
I'm always complaining and complaining about the hostel and mostly about everything.
BUT!
I don't give a damn about it!
I have the rights right?
WHAT-ever.....

Okay, so here I am.
Going online at Startbucks, Borders @ Gardens.
Peaceful enviroment.
Quiet and you can actually feel serenity here.
Syok-ness. =D

Mom and I had pedicure @ Nail Studio before dinner.
My first time, of course.
I didn't want to do it previously because I was damn afraid of people touching my feet.
[Another psycho behaviour of mine]
I hate it.
But after trying it, it was okay actually. Not that ticklish. LOL!

Diggin' something out. Yeaaa. Gross.

Farny laaa.

Looks like the one before but this is even red.
RED HOT CHILLI RED!
Oo! The massage was good by the way!

Drawing the white rose on mom's big fat toe. =D

Lol. Sama-sama red red.

After that, Japanese food @ Yuzu.
YUM!

Chawamushi! FAV! ♥

Steamboat!!

Nice! Only mushrooms, vege, tofu, fish and carrots!
Simple, clear & satisfying.

The soup was the best! ♥

Green Tea Ice Cream! Double YUM! ♥♥

Next, Kampachi @ Pavillion.
Or Angus Steak House perhaps?
Both. =D

Pampered, good food, Starbucks.
Now THAT is LIFE ♥

Wee!
I'm spoilt to the max!
Lah lah lah~

TROUBLE IS FRIEND NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO

Have I gone cuckoo? Why did I join that club? What has gotten into me? Omg! There's no turning back. Even if there is way, I don't know how?! =O
Fat people like me don't *. Imagine a pig *. No way! I'll be the laughing stock. Like seriously. People went *speechless* when I said I decided to join *.
Bad sign. It must be like "WTF! You join *!"
If it isn't for that 2 god damn credit hours, I wouldn't join ANYTHING!
Maybe I should have joined * instead. Omg.
She's going to kill me if she reads this. *If you know who you are* ><
Chill. We'll go through it somehow? O.o? Hmmmm.

Sometimes Most of the time I feel like I always make the wrong decision, in any aspect. I always pick the wrong thing! Wrong choice, wrong stuff! Especially while shopping. It's like something else possessed me and lead me to buy stuff that I tend to regret later on. Why?! Damn stupid.
Shopping is a DANGEROUS activity for the poor, like me!
Therefore, I've decided to restrict myself from buying stuff. It's not like I can find the size of the clothes that I adore. Never going to shop for clothes. At least not-so-perfect-figure people can pamper themselves with pretty shoes. I can't! =[ No clothes, no shoes! What a great life?!

I didn't really shop for months until yesterday! Woohoo! That's a great accomplishment! Hmm. I've never been a shopoholic anyway. But this means I have been wearing the same outfits for months. Years! Disastrous! Nahhh. I don't really care about fashion. Never my passion. I don't have the will and CASH to keep myself updated with the latest trends. Plus, there's no way I can fit into the latest & coolest garment, right? Agreed.
It's always those comfy jeans and tee. Shorts sometimes. Always casual.
What a passé, ay?! No. Conventional I would say.

Anyway, I just bought a pair of flatties. No biggie. I had to coz my other two pair of sandals have opened their mouth! HORRIBLE!
See. How poor I am! =[ Poverty-stricken. Okay not that serious.
But still, I'm poor. =[
Anyway, I need comfy flatties due to my oh-so-pathetic big feet!
Need to seek therapy. -,- For more sensible and virtuous decision making skills. Gosh! Pathetic much. Counseling student asking for professional help.
Erm, we're humans too, right?

*cough cough*
Gone too far. Back to main topic.
Well, as for this case, I hope I've made the right choice.
I don't want to make a fool out of myself.
Please.

Yada yada.
Today, stayed at home once again.
It's exasperatingly tedious and monotonous you know!
I mean like DAMN! My life pattern is like ----------------------------
while others are like ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First week of Sem 2 is like. It's like.
HELL! Excruciating!
✖ Classes canceled on the first day! As expected.
✖ Blur lecturer.
✖ Lecturer who can't get her mouth to shut.
✖ Self-declared holiday. =X *Okay not so hell but hell*
Don't get it? Never mind.

I'm supposed to switch back to the study mode. But why is everyone still on holiday mode? That includes me. Even though I don't fancy holidays. Unless I have interesting stuff to do.

What else?
O yea! Damn SSH! Always altering the timetable!
HELL-o! Don't you have a system?!
What if I've signed up for Cocu and the TT changed and one of the classes clashes with Cocu?!
O wait! That could happen! =X *Touchwood*
I'm going to fuck them up if this really happens.
For as long as I've been living on this planet, I've never been lucky in all these. There'll always be a problem for me. Thank you.
Mom always blames me for being so emotional and her so-called-gothic-attitude. She said I'm always attracting negative energy, inviting evil and that's the reason why I'm always unlucky in everything I do.
Uh hellooo! Urgh! I'm speechless.

I have crapped enough. Back to my chores. Life!
At least I'm going out tomorrow! Sorority Row with the kid! =D
Think of the bright side. Be positive. Cheer up!
Chill Devil.
Keep your horns.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING OLDER, YOU'RE GETTING BETTER

Today is Mama's Birthday! ♥
=D

It's also World's Animal Day. =P

Anyway, Mom and I went out with the aunties to Pasta Zanmai
on Thursday to celebrate her Birthday.

FOOOOOOD! ♥

Auntie Chris bought a Tiramisu Cake for mom.

..::SATURDAY::..

Partay at Auntie Lin's house!
Celebrated mom's Birthday and also the Mooncake Festival
[which I don't really care much]. =P

♥♥♥

Everyone diggin' in!

FOOD!
[Erm. I don't really see any food here but.. LOL!]

Introducing all the Budakss of the night.
[Busy playing lanterns and candles all night]

Budak No. 1

LOL!

Big Budak No. 2 & Budak No. 3

Budak No. 4

Budak No. 5

Very Big Budak No. 6
Big Budak No. 7
What kind of expression is thaaat?!
[He posed that for me]
Big Budak No. 8
Big Budak No. 9

Are they playing candles or trying to burn the house down?!
ARSON!!!!!!

Oh. Praying. AT ME!! -,-
Mooncake Festival?! A huge star or tiny moon?! LOL

Little Tong Tong!

A partay is not a partay without Rummy.
Long live the tradition of Rummy!
Fire Burning Babeh!!
One Lantern down!
There came a number. 8.
Chinese...............
We went Lantern parading yo!
These two kids just know how to PS. -,-
Kiddie toys. It's fun okay.
Little Shizuka and I

Tong Tong. [Hit my face like a dozen times!]
Countdown till' 12 o'clock and it's Mama's Birthday!

Marble Cheese Cake! ♥
Shizuka and mom

The White Ants strike once again!Cousin Yew trying to demo a so-called-Firecracker

.................................................................................................

Holidays have come to an end.
Two weeks came and gone.
Semester 2 starts tomorrow.
I can chill with the freaks again!
And I'm not going back to stay at the hostel YET!
Well.
Compared to many other people, their holidays are much longer.
BUT!
I'm SO SO SO glad it's over!
WHY?
Because HOLIDAYS = NOTHING TO DO = BORED = EMO.
I'm not like other gurls who hang out, chill and party everyday WHICH is good and bad also.
Bleh! What the hell am I crapping?!
And why am I always unhappy?
Hmm.
I don't know.
There must be something that is bothering me.
I need the key to unlock it.
Help...............